Czenglish Lives

 

Students make plenty of mistakes, but the hardest ones to fix are the ones that sound right.  Why do they sound right?  Because “that’s how we say it in Czech.” 

That’s right, six more for Czenglish.

1. We agreed that if he worked from home he would send me his work to control every Friday.
2. I met him on a party when I was on high school.
3. I bought my phone before five years.
4. You can find the actual schedule online.
5. Sorry Ryan, I have to cancel my Monday’s class.
6. My cat is sick and I have to take care about her.

Homework makes you happy

Do your English homework or be a statistic

What is the purpose of homework?  Many students believe it’s so that I can torture them.  They think I don’t like them.  Well, that may be true, but there’s another reason. 

Without review, within 24 hours we forget about 82% of what we’ve just learned.  After a week, it’s almost 100%.  And if you wait even longer, you actually start to learn Japanese. 

I know this from experience.  I’ll spend 90 minutes with a private student, and during the lesson we’ll write down about five or seven new vocab words he would like to learn.  The next week, before learning any new words, we review the words from the previous week.  But, he can’t remember any of them.  100% forgotten and 0% vocab improvement.  What a waste.  Why?  Well, it was a busy week and there was no time for review.

But remember, it’s not important to review for a long time; what is important is to review regularly.  It is much, much better to review every day just for a few minutes, than for an hour the day before the lesson.  And no matter how busy you are, I think everyone can find three minutes every day.  So keep a notebook, keep it with you, and start looking for regular times during your daily schedule when you can look at it.

Possible places and times to review.  Can you think of any more?

• on the tram/metro
• while eating
• on the elevator/escalator
• while waiting for your computer to start
• in the bathroom
• 5 minutes before you go to lunch (tell yourself you can’t go until you review)

The Best Way to Learn English

Study abroad?  Work as an au pair?  Date an American?  Take expensive lessons at the British Council? 

All good ways to improve your English.  But according to a new linguistic study conducted at Harvard’s multi-million-dollar language laboratory, here’s the best way.

1.  Fall in love.

2. Take him/her on vacation someplace far away where the locals only speak English.  They recommend Alabama.

3.  Find a bar owned by the Russian/Chinese/Columbian mafia.  Say ‘yes’ when someone offers to buy you a drink.

4.  Wake up the next morning in an alley, minus one kidney and one boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife.

5.  Next, in order to save him/her, you will have to find a gun store, interrogate the bar owner, track down the kidnappers, negotiate a ransom, and finally, say some clever, Swarzenegger-esque remark before you kill them…all in English.

What’s my point?  Motivation comes first.  Answer the question ‘Why?’ and everything else will fall into place.  But without a strong enough reason to improve your English, not even the best school, book or teacher can help you.

So why do you want to improve your English?

Would you take your personal trainer to McDonalds?

Why do people hire personal trainers?  They can lift the weights and get on the machines by themselves.  The answer is, they need the motivation.

A private English teacher provides the same benefit.  You must speak English.  You must do most of the talking.  And if you don’t  go to the lesson, you still have to pay, so you might as well go anyway.  That’s motivation.

Now, imagine you’re in the gym with your personal trainer.  Would you ask him:

• Can you lift this for me?
• I’m tired today, let’s just walk on the treadmill.
• Got any good donuts?

However, English students often do the same.  During the lesson they:

• speak in Czech
• peek at their notes during a review/test
• complain when I make them work
• argue against my recommendations

So, listen to your personal trainer and listen to your English teacher, and, Do one more!

How to have a good teacher

"Just what in the hell do you think you're doing?" "Learning about Cuba, and having some food."

Want a good teacher?

Be a good student.

I have two types of students. 

One type expects more from himself, works harder, expects to see progress, and genuinely needs English to improve his life.

The second type approaches English as hobby, or a relaxing break from work.  Which is fine.

But for a teacher, the first type of student is much more challenging and rewarding.  And in terms of value, because they expect more, they get more.

So, what is a good student?  A good student:

• rarely cancels
• is on time
• turns off his/her phone
• does his/her homework
• reviews new vocab during the week
• is active during the lessons: takes notes, asks questions, looks for opportunities to speak

Getting the most out of your money

Want a better teacher? Be a better student.

My best students aren’t the ones who are the smartest, or who speak the best English, or…

Top 10 Czenglishisms

As an English teacher who has been teaching in Prague for almost six years, and whose students have almost entirely been Czech and Slovak, I hear the same mistakes made nearly every week.  Often, these are words and phrases translated directly from Czech.  Sometimes this works.  Sometimes it doesn’t.  And when it doesn’t, I call it Czenglish.

Are some of these Czenglish-isms your mistakes?  Do you know what the correct way to say each sentence is?

1.  This weekend I was on the cottage, picking up mushrooms.

2.  The best way how to learn English is to date an American. 

3.  The Prague is the capital of Czech Republic.

4. Detroit has a nice nature.

5. My chief will be angry if he finds out I’m dating the English teacher.

6. I saw a very interesting document on TV Nova last night.  It was about dirt.

7.  We were 12 people at the party.

8. Jamie Oliver is a famous cooker.

9.  I found “The Sound of Music” too depressive.

10.  My village is very near to another village.

11.  I will call to reception.

12.

What is your vote for number 12? (Hey, we’re learning English, not counting.)